March 4th, 2010: iphone app

The Koala has a free app for the iphone.  Download it today and spew what you really think.  

March 3rd, 2010: New Issue Is Out!

The latest issue of the MOTHERFUCKING Koala is available on Library Walk this week.  Come get your copy!

February 20th, 2010: Compton Cookout

The Koala would like to condemn the organizers of the Compton Cookout.  If history has shown us anything, you need more black people at your party to have enough black-on-black violence to actually justify the  name "Compton."  Shame on you.  SHAME.

February 20th, 2010: We President Now!

Stolen from UCSD's own Black Alumni Reunion: Kool-Aid 'n' Chicken.  Compare this menu with the Compton Cookout.  We can't make this stuff up folks.  I saved a screen shot, because they're going to take this one down.

February 19th, 2010: Back Issues

We stopped fulfilling certain stereotypes about African Americans and updated our back issues!

If you'd like to contact us, call us on our hotline: 404-MF-KOALA

March 31st, 2009: Winter Issue

Czech it, this should hold you over for a week or two until we put out another shitrag.


Winter 2009, Issue 03

February 17th, 2009: Koala TV Streaming Live

Watch Koala TV on SRTV live:
Click here to watch
Wednesdays 10 PM.

February 12th, 2009: Happy Valentines Day

Don't forget to punch your Valentine in the mouth.


Winter 2009, Issue 02

Older News can be found in the Updates Section.

Back Issues

Houseboat on 06/02/08
Rating:

There exists a point in every college students life where you’re drinking simply to dull the pain from the last night’s drinking. Later, your intervention counselor will tell you this is alcoholism. In the meantime, there’s a place to hone your drinking skills to liver-crippling proportions: Houseboat.

5 Houseboats, 125...continues

TKE Presents Hollywood on 04/05/07
Rating:

Rejected for a date by two girls this night, Hollywood was my distant third choice. Maybe I should have had another option...

What do you get when you cross four pretty girls and one frat? TKE can now proudly answer that question. If this had been a house party instead of a club, there would be some big positives: a good-sized dance...continues

Thats ignorant. I look like a library punk. I spend too much time there.
Submitted By: anonymous too

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Welcome to The Koala's webpage.  If you stumbled across here, you were probably searching for Koala TV porn, or Koala TV Steve York, or Netvideogirls, or Nadia Styles.

The Koala is actually a newspaper.  We have been around since 1892 when Scripps Institutions of Oceanography opened.  We were there to cover many important events in history.  When Orville Wright was flying airplanes we were drinking. When World War 2 broke out, we were drinking.  When the Euro became a legitimate currency, we found out about it three years later.

The Koala has two long traditions.  The first is maintaining a staff with a variety of personality disorders.  This is paramount.  A lesser known tradition is our editors achieving a third place standing in A.S. elections.  This can be either viewed one or two ways.  Whoa, or Wow!

We try to provide a safe and clean atmosphere for normal UCSD students to get drunk (on life) in and write funny stuff.  We also are not as dumb as we look, so don't fuck with us.  Many famous people have written for The Koala over the years. You might recognize some of these names:  Steve Lutz, Tulley Rafferty, Evan Hoovler, Drew Carey, Condoleeza Rice, Bryan Barton, and Brad Kohlenberg. You now have a cookie embedded into your computer that will not go away until 2037.  Until then we'll be watching you.

The Koala is a student-run humor publication at the University of California, San Diego. We usually publish two issues per quarter, except in the summer. Our issues can be found around campus or digitally in the Archives section. The issues are mostly in PDF format, except of course those in the HTML Archives section.

If you've actually read this far, then you must not be intoxicated enough to participate in The Koala. However, if this is simply a lapse in your poor, poor, judgment, and your interest in The Koala has been aroused (possibly by the Koala logo's phallic-like thumb), why not think of joining us? Info on attending a Koala meeting can be found in the Contact Us section.

Feel free to download issues, submit a personal or list, leave us feedback in The Forums, and check out our pictures.