Spring 1985, Issue 3

A short report once again

by Andy Magnet
Koala staff

We were all freshmen once, some of us still are. Do you remember the questions you asked when you were a freshman?

An undisclosed source has provided me with a list of the most frequently asked questions by freshmen. My intent is to answer them for you so you will know what to say to next year's incoming class.

Q: Do I need a car?
A: Yes.
Q: Will I be able to find a place to park?
A: No.
Q: What are the professors like?
A: Well some are big, some are small some are bald, and some have hair. Approximately 50% of them can speak a form of English similar to ours.
Q: What major should I declare for pre-med?
A: Recently, medical schools havebeen accepting students from two major fields of study, Engineering and Communications.
Q: How do you get parking Permits?
A: You carefully peel the red sticker off of your math professor's car. With this in hand, you should have no problem finding premium parking spaces.
Q:What are the basic courses required of freshmen?
A: Chemistry 8AH, Chemistry 140B , EECS 61, Chinese Lit. 150 Math 2DA and Muir 10.
Q: When are you required to declare a major?
A: Preferably before the first week of classes however, if you wish to, declare sooner, it would be acceptable.
Q: What's the night life like in La Jolla?
A: (Your answer should include this follow-up question) Before or After 8 P.M.?
Q: Does UCSD have a radio station?
A: Yes. Do you have cable?
Q: What are the major changes between high school and college?
A: Homework.
And...
Q: Do we have to pay our fees now.
A: Yes please make your check payable to me.

These are only a few of the many questions you may hear next Fall. Please stick with the answers given, we don't want to confuse the "Freshfolk."

I must also add that I intentionally write short articles because people tend to enjoy the Editor's comments more than my articles. So, you see, if I write a long one, you would all miss out on those funny comments.

Editor's Note: Yes, Andy, but we shouldn't constantly be called upon to lengthen your article due to a writer's block (or lack of creative energy) Get on the stick Andy - we Copy Editors indeed may be near-perfect, but we're not Gods!